Wordeology

Have you ever found yourself trying to describe something and you just can't spit the stupid word out? You know the word but it's being an elusive bugger and, no doubt, laughing at you from some unused corner of your brain. Here's a prime example: one day I was talking to a friend of mine about not being able to get a hold of a mutual friend of ours. All I was trying to say was how unreachable she was. But for some reason that damn word just wouldn't come to me. Yes "unreachable". A pretty simple word. One we use often. Maybe that's why... It needed a vacation. Well, instead of looking for it and deciding to let it enjoy it's moment of snickering in that far off corner, I made up my own word. So the course of the sentence to my friend went something like this: "I've been trying to reach her all day. She's positively un-get-a-hold-of-able". Oh yes, you read that right. Ungetaholdofable. I hung up with her laughter still ringing in my ear. That word along with quite a few others (which, funnily enough, I can't think of at the moment... It's a conspiracy!) belongs to a special form of grammar my friends and I lovingly call: Wordeology.

Wordeology is the junk drawer of the english language. A free-for-all for anyone to pick and choose what they need for a given grammatical situation. Can't think of that word you know you know? Wordeology is there. Want to spice up a stale conversation? Wordeology to the rescue! Happen to spit out a completely unintelligible word while talking? Never fear. You did that on purpose for you have a PhD in Wordeology.

The formula for wordeology is astonishingly simple. Add "dis", "able", "un", "ify", "ism", or anything else you can think of to any word and you're good to go! Extra points if you use more than one (you know, like UNgetaholdofABLE). George W. Bush was a master of this. Everyone called them "Bushisms", but when you think about it that is a wordeological word in and of itself. However, he does NOT have a PhD (notice I said "master" which we all know comes before that coveted doctorate). See, he wasn't using his words as a last resort. He actually believed that were they grammatically correct, therefore disqualifying him for the title of "Doctor".

Now, there is another formula for this giggle-inducing, wacky grammar. And, again, it's very simple. It's simply...make up your own words. Now I know we all do that. It's nothing new. It's the creativity behind the word that makes it wordeology worthy. For example: hideuglius. That's a word my best friend came up with to describe an encounter with what he believed to be a truly ugly situation. It just could not possibly be described with the words hideous or ugly. So, as all wordeology elite do, he came up with his own word and combined the two.

Seeing as my brain has shut off for the night and I'm having trouble thinking of more words, I'm going to leave the rest up to you, dear readers, and call it a night. Happy hunting, my friends. Until we meet again.